Viral Stories of the Week: September 11

Vonetta Logan's recap of the big business, news, markets, political, cultural and viral trending stories featured this week on Daily Dose

What’s up tastynation! Welcome to this week’s edition of Weekly Dose! Each week, I recap the top stories that I covered on Daily Dose. If you missed any eps of Daily Dose you can catch up on them here. 

It finally feels like fall! I have ingested 600 pumpkin spiced items this week alone. #sorrynotsorry 

Let’s get to this week’s recap. 

Monday 

• Nasdaq to rollout AI-powered order types: Nasdaq (QQQ) wants some of that AI-generated cash flow, so this week the exchange announced it won approval from the Securities and Exchange Commission to launch the first exchange artificial intelligence-driven order type. The approval of the dynamic midpoint extended life order (M-ELO) would speed up the frequency at which orders are matched and minimize market impact, which would result in better trading outcomes for investors, the exchange said. As an elderly millennial, I too, am seeking a way to extend the midpoint of my life. But congrats to everyone involved. 
• Baba cloud leader steps down: To start the week, Alibaba (BABA) announced that the dude who it just promoted just two months ago, is stepping down. Daniel Zhang was basically the Beyonce of Alibaba. He was a triple threat: group CEO and chairman, cloud-unit leader and head of the cloud intelligence unit, SVU. Well, he peaced out and Baba is scrambling to fill all the roles he occupied. For those who are just catching up, the Chinese e-commerce giant announced in March that it would be breaking the company up into six units, each with its own boards and CEOs. 
• Google's antitrust showdown: It’s Google vs United States this week in a federal antitrust lawsuit case so large, and with so many implications, that we haven’t seen since the United States vs Microsoft (MSFT) days. The U.S. Department of Justice and dozens of states accused Google in 2020 of abusing its dominance in online search by allegedly harming competition through deals with wireless carriers and smartphone makers that made Google Search the default or exclusive option on products used by millions of consumers. The complaints against the Alphabet (GOOGL) unit eventually consolidated into one case. Google’s entire defense basically comes down to “we’re like, super popular your honor, like, we can’t help it if everyone loves us. K thx, bye!” 

Tuesday 

• JPMorgan boss warns of risks ahead: Jamie Dimon, head of America’s biggest bank, JPMorgan Chase (JPM), absolutely loves it when someone sticks a microphone in front of him. Economic summit, Congressional testimony, your kid’s dance recital … he doesn’t care, he’s gonna drop hot takes. Healthy consumer balance sheets and rising wages are supporting the economy for now, but there are risks ahead, he warned. It’s true the U.S. economy is currently doing well, but it would be a “huge mistake” to believe that it will last for years. This is the same Dimon who warned us of an economic hurricane last year, but that failed to materialize. We could be in for a financial sharknado in 2024. 
• A sweet pairing in the snack game: Great news for sweet tooth DIYers. You don’t have to keep trying to inject flavorful jam into your store-bought Twinkies anymore. No one else? Just me? Cool, cool. Anyway, jelly maker J.M. Smucker (SJM) announced it would buy Twinkie owner Hostess Brands (TWINK) for $5.6 billion. First of all, can I just say how delighted I was to discover that the Hostess ticker is TWINK? Heh. This totally opens the door to a HostTwinkiesker jam-a-palooza: jam-filled Twinkies, jam-filled Ding Dongs, jam-filled fruit pies. I know one guy who’s excited. Hostess has gone bankrupt twice in the past 10 years. If another low-fat craze never grips this nation again, we should all be okay. Dark days, I tell ya. 
• Apple announces new products: Apple (AAPL) held its annual product conference this week at its Cupertino, California Campus, where it unveiled its new iPhone 15 lineup as well as new Apple Watches. Apple tried to highlight how the company was reducing its carbon footprint, how new hand gestures can now control the Apple Watch and inexplicably how it conned Academy Award winner Octavia Spencer to be in a glorified corporate “comedy” (using all the sarcastic quotes for that) skit. But the response from Wall St was a giant MEH. Apple’s stock immediately dropped 1.7%. You can watch YouTube tech titan Marques Brownlee’s thoughts on the new iPhone here. 
• Tesla surges on 'dojo' upgrade: The stock of electric. carmaker Tesla (TSLA) soared earlier in the week after Morgan Stanley (MS) predicted Tesla’s Dojo supercomputer could fuel a $500 billion jump in the company's market value. Yes, that's the same Tesla that is supposed to be producing a Cybertruck that consumers put down payments on in like 1994. Yes, the same Tesla that is supposed to be building the world’s greatest robot. Yes, the same Tesla whose cars can’t really drive themselves. Mojo dojo powers, indeed. 

Wednesday 

• WSJ thinks 24-hour options are "gambling": In this week’s entry of “what are we clutching our pearls about this week”, The Wall Street Journal published a salacious story suggesting that zero-DTE options are basically the new meme stocks and that America’s youts are busy huffing options underneath the high school bleachers. You could read that claptrap, or you can check out this amazing Market Measures segment our research team put together to debunk that junk. Fun fact: The Creator, Tom Sosnoff did get to visit the WSJ offices when he was in New York City last week and I’m pretty sure the Journal isn't using a Halloween candy bowl to collect precipitation from a leaky roof like we are over here at tastylive. 
• Birkenstock files IPO: You may know it as the first footwear-based birth control. But Birkenstock, the 249-year-old shoe company, said that it plans to go public on the New York Stock Exchange, listed under the ticker BIRK. In its prospectus, Birkenstock outlined how counterfeit products were a threat to the company’s bottom line, but the shoe company is experiencing a surge of interest following successful marketing campaigns for the Barbie movie. I’m still #teamcrocs over here, but you do you, Birkenstocks. 
• BP CEO keeps showing his rig to employees, resigns: BP CEO Bernard Looney resigned this week after less than four years for failing to fully disclose details of past personal relationships with colleagues, the company said. Looney, 53, became CEO in February 2020 with a vow to reinvent the 114-year-old company. Hold the phone … does this say colleagues plural?? He was only there for four years! How many coworkers did he show his rig to? Was he treating the staff like the Arctic Refuge and just drilled whatever he wanted? Isn’t BP (BP) tired of having to clean up after messy spills? Okay, okay, I’m done. But you guys, this wasn’t even the top “executive can’t keep it in their pants” news of the week.
• Orthofix (OFIX) also fired everybody this week because: dalliances. Orthofix fired its CEO, CFO, and CLO because the executives tried to give employees unwanted implants via repeated offensive and inappropriate conduct. The stock hit a 15 year low on the news. Serious question, are men okay? 
• A Wisconsin pub owner should teach b-school classes: After having to witness a dismantling of my precious Chicago Bears at the hands of the nefarious Green Bay Packers last week, this story out of Wisconsin made me chortle. Jack’s American Pub in Milwaukee, Wisconsin ran a promotion saying it will comp your bar tab if New York Jets QB Aaron Rodgers starts the game and the Jets lose. Rodgers, a hall of fame quarterback (god that was painful to type) left Green Bay for New York at the end of last season. Well, when game time rolled around, Rodgers came flying out of the tunnel waving the stars and stripes like it was his destiny. A few plays later, Rodgers was taken out of the game with what we now know is a season-ending Achilles injury. But when Rodgers went down, the number of drinks ordered went up. A Milwaukee TV crew was on site to record the giddy glee of bar patrons. That is until the Jets ended up winning the game in overtime and people had to literally pay the piper for their drinks. I have watched this news clip at least 15 times. It’s great. Anyway, savvy bar owner Jack made 6x revenue for the night and is a certified business genius. He should seriously consider teaching at Wharton next semester. 

Thursday 

• UAW preps for strike: United Auto Workers union outlined plans for a series of strikes targeting individual U.S. auto plants in what would be its first-ever simultaneous strike against the Detroit Three automakers if agreements are not reached by late Thursday. Automakers Ford (F), GM (GM), and Stellantis (STLA) have offered the 146,000 workers of the UAW pay raises of as much as 20% over the next four years. As of Friday morning, the UAW started work stoppages at 3 facilities. 
• Tech leaders meet for AI summit: Tech titans Elon Musk, Tesla (TSLA), Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook (META), Sam Altman, OpenAI, Jensen Huang, Nvidia (NVDA) and Sundar Pichai, Google (GOOGL) gathered in the Senate offices for the “AI Insight Forum”. The tech industry insiders met with Senate members to discuss all aspects of artificial intelligence. The meeting has been criticized by some because no one in attendance owned a vagina. 
• ARM makes its public debut: ARM (ARM), the British chip design company priced its IPO at $51 a share, valuing the company at $54.5 billion. The shares rallied nearly 25% on the first day of trading. And the trend looks to continue as the stock opened higher Friday morning. The promising debut is good news for companies like Instacart (CART) and Birkenstock (BIRK) who are hoping to have IPOs soon. As of Friday, options still were not available for ARM, and short-selling was also not activated. 

Friday 

• Zero-day ETF launches: An exchange-traded fund (ETF) that offers investors a new way to participate in the hot market for short-dated equity options, a risky trading strategy that has enthralled markets over the last year, launched this week. Defiance ETFs LLC launched the Defiance Nasdaq-100 (QQQY) Enhanced Option Income ETF on Thursday, the first ETF to use daily options income generation. I don’t have the space to get into why this thing is maybe not the best idea, but please read this wonderful article that Nick Battista wrote. You can read it here. The tasty team also put together a wonderful resource on 0day options here. 
• Caesars says customer info was stolen in hack: It’s been a no good, very bad week for casino operators like MGM (MGM) and Caesars Entertainment (CZR). Both resorts continue to struggle with the fallout from a system-wide hack. Hotel and casino giant Caesars said hackers stole a huge trove of customer data in a recent cyberattack. Reports are now surfacing that the hack, which was entirely socially engineered, has now garnered over six terabytes worth of customer data. Caesars shelled out $15 million to the hackers to get its systems back online. MGM is still offline. 
• Dunkin wants to give you pumpkin spiced diabetes: Dunkin Donuts (DNKN) in collaboration with hip-hop artist, Ice Spice, has unveiled a new addition to its fall menu: the “Ice Spice Munchkins Drink.” The drink combines Munchkin pumpkin-flavored donuts mixed with frozen coffee and topped with whipped cream and caramel drizzle, marking the chain’s first time it has added donuts directly to its beverage lineup. That’s right, we have reached peak pumpkin. Dunkin is just straight up putting donuts in beverages and blending them like adult baby food. The caloric nuclear bomb has a whopping 146 grams of sugar. 

Will Tom Eat It? Sticky Ribs: Tom is preparing ribs for a charity event this weekend. I offered him this easy oven-baked take on spicy Asian ribs. He was unimpressed. 

That’s it for this week! See ya next week! 

Vonetta Logan has more than a decade of markets experience and has been a trader for five years. She is an on-air personality, creative writer and news correspondent at tastylive, She appears Monday-Friday on Daily Dose and contributes to Luckbox Magazine. @vonettalogan

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